Saturday, April 21, 2012

On Eating K-9s: How Obama Can Save His Presidency

So our President claims in one of his phony "autobiographical" tomes to have eaten dog. He, or more likely his ghost-writer, probably threw in that story, which might or might not be true, to try to make then little-known Barack Obama an interesting and world experienced sort, "Ah, there I was on the banks of the mighty Zambezi River, at high ebb, mind you, when I realised that the lives in my charge would be lost . . . lost unless I did something drastic. The food was gone, the cognac bottle had been drained of its last dregs long ago, and we had many leagues to go before we could rest secure. I summoned my batman, and told him in clear, mind you, even stentorian tones that carried well past his attentive but dirty ears, 'Wallace, my good fellow, prepare Fluffy as you would a Christmas goose!' A murmur rippled through the ranks of my primitive, child-like charges. I knew what they were thinking, 'This fellow knows what he's about. We, indeed, will be saved!'"

I lived for over three years in Indonesia. Dog-eating is very uncommon; it is a low-rent sort of thing to do, and frowned upon in polite society. The places that serve dog meat in Jakarta are seedy, off the-beaten-track, holes-in-the-wall. You really, really have to be in the mood for a taste of ol' Rover to go there.

Now this stupid story has bitten him in the ankle much like John Kerry's fake stories of feats of derring-do in Vietnam and Christmas in Cambodia.  It is akin to his handlers' other claim that Obama speaks fluent Bahasa Indonesia--he does not.

The Obama team is stuck with this dog tail tale. Either their man has lied, or engaged in something millions of us find repulsive--and right now I am not talking about his health care plan.

Free advice: Lemonade out of lemons. Team Obama should embrace the story; use it as proof that the President is not Muslim since Muslims do not eat dog.  Have big posters and TV ads of him clubbing, skinning, and eating dogs. Have him say, "See, I am not a Muslim after all!" Maybe he could have Reverend Wright and Bill Ayres standing behind him wearing big bibs and holding knives and forks.

There, that's my little suggestion; just trying to help out the commander-in-chief . . .

AP News: New chef hired for the White House.


  1. I have a son that works in S. Korea. He says they have "dog restaurants" there.

  2. Yes, they do as does China. In Indonesia, where Obama lived, however, dog eating is very rare.

  3. I have a former friend who has been calling me a dog for several years on the net. He has been encouraging bloggers he knows to post about dogs in unflattering ways.

    May I just say: Screw you, B, you're not interesting, anymore, whether it be your obsession with doggy style or Woody Allen styled neurotically self-obsessed dysfunction.

    While you're not smart enough to master a dog, I have met far better pretenders than you.

  4. That last one is hard to beat, but glad to see you back.

  5. "The places that serve dog meat in Jakarta are seedy, off the-beaten-track, holes-in-the-wall. You really, really have to be in the mood for a taste of ol' Rover to go there."

    Sounds like you did a lot of research to find the right place. You didn't mention what it tastes like. Just kidding!

    What I really want to know is where on earth did you find that picture?