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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Beyond Parody, Part II: The DOJ Makes the World Safe for Football, er, uh, Soccer . . .

OK. Pay attention.

This notice is required by the Overlords of Political Correctness:

Trigger Warning

I know at least two of my regular six readers will feel offended by this post, so I must provide a "trigger warning." I used to think that meant Roy Rogers' horse would make an appearance, but now I understand it means something else . . .  so anybody with an intense emotional attachment to our new Attorney General, President Obama, progressivism, and the contest over who will host World Cup matches is hereby warned that emotional damage could result from reading the following text.

End of Trigger Warning.

Our new AG, Loretta Lynch, has announced that she is on the job against the greatest possible threat that can exist to our Republic, well, I mean besides global warming, cooling, change, disruption. Yes, my friends it is the existential threat posed to the Republic by corrupt football officials, not the NFL kind who have gotten major tax breaks for decades, no, I refer to the kind that gets played by foreigners in shorts, a game known in the civilized world as soccer. Using the ever efficient and now toady Swiss police, our fearless DOJ has managed to have major FIFA officials swept up in a raid at their swanky Zurich hotel, and be processed for possible extradition to the USA.

Goal! Well, actually, since I write of a British-invented game, I should scream, Gaol!

Who gives a rat's behind about this investigation? Is there anybody out there unaware that FIFA--and the IOC, not to mention the UN, the OAS, the EU, the IMF, the World Bank, the Clinton Foundation, etc--is a corrupt organization? We are spending gazillions of US taxpayer bucks to clean up FIFA? WHO CARES? How does this mean anything to us? What, you say, if we don't clean this up, we won't get to host a World Cup unless we kick in a few million to some crooked FIFA officials? So? Why would we want such an event?

Our DOJ is off responding to distant bugles and chasing headlines, when it should be doing work much closer to home. How about the Clintons? How about "Fast and Furious"? How about the millions of illegal aliens pouring into the country, many of them violent gangsters? How about vote fraud in Chicago, Detroit, Los Angeles? How about Al Sharpton's non-payment of taxes? How about all the federal money poured into Baltimore, where did that go? How about cleaning up the IRS? My four or five readers still with me, I am sure you can come up with hundreds of issues of greater priority to DOJ than FIFA.

The progressives are at it, again. I've written before (here, for example) that they will push for an energetic US international stance only where there is no US interest involved. Here we see them trying to bring down the rich and the famous involved in "crimes" of little to no consequence for average Americans. Prosecutors gone mad. FBI resources wasted. All in a day's work.

Next up: A thorough investigation into the Reichstag fire.

51 comments:

  1. Those FIFA guys are all lawyer-ed up, and this is going to end the same way as trying to extradite Roman Polanski, an embarrassment.

    The U.S.will now be perma-banned from ever hosting the World cup too. Not that is a bad thing.

    Sometimes I wonder, could I actually be a better president than President Obama? When I realize, yes, I would be better, I shake my head and wonder again, how did he get elected in the first place.

    Reader #5

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    Replies
    1. He wasn't elected. He was installed.

      Delete
    2. he *was* elected... that's why this is a *cultural* problem not an *Obama* problem.

      - reader #1482

      Delete
  2. I wanted to write on this, decided against it. After reading your post I'm glad i didn't. you expressed my feelings much better than I could have. You are 100% right on. Our southern border wide open, Russia, North Korea, Middle East and ISIS all threatening to blow the USA to kingdom come and she's gonna fix SOCCER ? We have a female erik holder as attorney general.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going after Euro-kickball bigwigs is just fine with me. The alternatives could be much worse. Like ginning up phony charges against the top 3 Republican Presidential contenders. Or starting a few more riots. Of course, I'm a glass half full kind a guy.

      Delete
    2. Certainly better than working up a few Wisconsin style 'John Doe investigations' of any conservative who thinks that it might be OK to enter public life, or support another who does.

      Delete
  3. Per Moe Lane, Qatar apparently paid off Bill Clinton for something involving his running of America's bid for the world cup against Qatar.

    If Ferguson, Baltimore et al. are credible as the Democrats getting nasty about the nomination process and internal power struggles, how about this? This would be a Clinton scandal that wouldn't necessarily be damaging to the administration. As opposed to the other recent potential scandals about the former secretary of state peddling influence.

    Either that, or a way of signalling to the international community that buying the Clinton's isn't enough anymore, someone else wants a cut. That said, I would think this investigation would have enough of a lead time that it wasn't just someone reading 'Clinton Cash' and getting jealous.

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  4. Heck, if the DOJ wanted to bust up some sports corruption, they should have looked at the Boston Olympics bid for '24 (starting with how the BRA got the city to transfer several parcels of 'surplus' land right where the main stadium is supposed to go). Only the hackiest of the Boston Hack O'Rama support the bid. Amazingly event he uber-progressives whose union friends stand to make a mint on it are treating it like week old raw fish in summer. That's right, even the uber-progressives have found a government money pit they don't like!

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  5. Still with you sir. Greatly enjoy being here.

    Reader #8

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  6. Don't thwart the Obama! He hasn't forgotten losing the bid for the games in Chicago!

    whitecollar redneck

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    Replies
    1. Robert of OttawaMay 28, 2015 at 6:29 AM

      I was looking for possible explanation. I agree with the Dip, it made no sense, many more important things to do.

      What does the US care about futebol - as they call it in Brazil, fusball - Germany, balle á pied - France (just kidding). Does Lynch even know what shape the ball is.

      Also, why isn't the top dog, Sepp Blatter, widely believed to be the worst offender.

      Delete
    2. Robert of OttawaMay 28, 2015 at 6:30 AM

      Also, why isn't the top dog, Sepp Blatter, widely believed to be the worst offender, being investigated?

      Delete
  7. The purpose for proceeding with the arrests at this moment is to take the focus off the Clinton scandals. Unfortunately, the Clintons are in on this one as well.

    The best laid plans . . .

    ReplyDelete
  8. I heard this on the radio this morning and thought "so what?" Even though I enjoyed your fine essay, my thought is still "so what?" I would say it a lot more strongly if this were not a family-friendly blog. Is there anything -- anything at all -- this administration can set its mind to that will take care of the really important issues facing us as a nation? Or are we destined to fight global warming and corrupt soccer officials for the remainder of this lame duck session?

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is a puzzle. Maybe Barack or Michelle really love soccer and want to purify it.

    They need a win on the international stage and a chorus of "good job". Maybe this does it for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe one of the Obama girls plays soccer/football and want to "purify" it.



      pmc

      Delete
  10. The Administration got all butt-hurt when FIFA selected Qatar over the US for the Worlds Cup.
    Just as we see with Domestic groups who cross The One, Judicial Revenge is always on the table.

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  11. Just a small correction to your post. The sport in question is known as football in the civilised world. Only you Yanks call it soccer, in order to distinguish it from the inferior game played by steroid enhanced freaks.

    Other than that with you all the way. Most of the world is corrupt, if you want to play there (in all senses of the word) you have to adopt some of the local customs.

    BTW the USA hosted the World Cup in 1994, I distinctly recall Al Gore presenting Brazil the trophy. I can't blame you for wanting to forget that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who'd remember? The only people in the stands were either foreign tourists or illegals from south of the border. If the Brazilians had taken the trophy and Al Gore, and kept them both, that would have been memorable.

      Delete
    2. I remember.. played mostly at Stanford, a stone's throw away... didn't know anybody who went, but it was a sellout (probably in multiple ways).
      iirc, that championship was decided by a shootout?
      Soccer players are similarly 'enhancing'.. the money's to great not to cheat. They always do and loudly protest their innocence until they have their "Lance Armstrong" moment.

      - reader #1482

      Delete
    3. Why are we doing this? Squirrellllllllllll!!!!!!

      They want to prove they're serious, take on the ICC. I dares ya.

      Delete
  12. You yanks should stop contemplating the world from up your fundamental orifice, the view from there is somewhat restricted. The rest of the world does not play "soccer" it plays football. What you play should be called handball. The rest of the world does not play baseball either, a form of rounders, And, surprise surprise, the rest of the world has not the slightest interest in your extraordinary handball which is incomprehensible nor rounders. Perhaps one of your contributors would kindly point out any team game which is played both in the USA and the rest of the world and at which the USA leads. If you think about it, Americans are best at playing with themselves.

    Diplomad, you said some would be offended. You were right.I've returned the ball back over the net.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robert of OttawaMay 28, 2015 at 6:36 AM

      Clive, this is the expected response; I trust it was in jest. If you think the US is bad for playing games others don't, imagine Canada's unofficial motto: "Excels in sports no one else plays".

      Diplo had a serious point and I think the Anonymous point about revenge for Chicago's loss explains it.

      Delete
    2. I assume this is a joke otherwise you have missed the whole point. BTW, have you ever heard of basketball?

      Delete
    3. Basketball, you say? Just another of those daft Canadian sports.

      Delete
    4. Actually, baseball is played in places other than North America. In particular, it's quite popular in parts of Asia (and if you're from the Commonwealth, then I'll clarify that when we Yanks refer to "Asia", we're not talking about the sub-continent).

      Delete
    5. Anon: Zing! Good one about the sub-continent! I'll take his "piss taking" all in good stride. Being a Yank that travels the world, I find out cousins across the pond always love to start a conversation with an American: "you know what's wrong with your country (fill in blank)" I guess a people that gave away an Empire have a hard time letting go.

      Delete
    6. I should have noted but forgot that "soccer" is the original term for the sport. Soccer is a British word which went out of fashion in the UK not too long ago.

      Delete
    7. Nony at 1:15.

      Australia is part of "the Commonwealth" and we don't refer to the sub-continent as Asia either. Nor do our cousins across the Tasman, the Kiwis. I think you'll find that the Asia reference to the sub-continent is purely Brit.

      Delete
  13. This is all so confusing. Maybe FIFA is the foreign way of spelling Clinton Foundation?

    ReplyDelete
  14. . . .or as Rush calls it, "the Clinton Crime Family Foundation."

    ReplyDelete
  15. Presumably either this is all part of some vast shake-down operation, or is intended as a distraction from something else. But which?

    ReplyDelete
  16. lynch must've been investigating this for a long time... as a US Attorney before going to DOJ. I'd bet these arrests were held up until after her confirmation in order to bypass the justifiable outrage at such a prodigious waste of federal dollars. Seriously doubt she would've made it through the gauntlet with this out in the wild.

    - reader #1482

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  17. I hear what you're saying DM, but this is brilliant by this lot. They do understand pop culture, and the kind of voter they need to appeal to will actually respond to an argument of "well, if we're so weak internationally, what about FIFA? What's weak about that?"

    This will actually work with their slice of millennial male, who cares about world football (nods to fans of the beautiful game) much more than world politics. This will even give credibility to the new AG, as painful as it is to admit.

    Blatter is a better villain than Ernst Blofeld. He's right out of central casting, and he's really deeply corrupt and evil. This fills a lot of minutes that would otherwise be "wasted" on talk of Bill/Hill quarter-million $ speeches and the like.

    Utterly cynical, totally political, and depressingly brilliant. (sigh)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robert of OttawaMay 28, 2015 at 7:53 PM

      But Blatter hasn~t been accused by the DOJ.

      Delete
    2. They'll flip these guys and get him in the end - lots more shoes to drop, and a chance to threaten Putin without actually hurting him - the next WC is in Russia, and you know lots of bribes greased the skids for that one. This will roll out about like the PED scandal did in baseball. Like there, almost everyone is guilty as heck, and they look guilty, too. This will get an incredible amount of attention, and the opportunity to preen in their own virtue will be the bonus that keeps the prosecutors motivated. Somebody will make their political bones on this and be sitting in the Senate before 2020. While the world burns just off the pitch of course, but you can't have everything... Got to keep the circuses on schedule.

      It's what the LIV's really care about.

      Delete
  18. Of course it is called soccer. In my neck of the woods, when you say "football," you mean what the rest of the world refers to as "rugby."

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jeez Diplomad,
    I'm a regular reader (so that makes it seven), plus I'm an Aussie (makes it International).
    Love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Robert of OttawaMay 29, 2015 at 8:42 AM

    Qatar was worse than Russia. I still sy the Qatar WC should not go ahead.

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    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure Qatar could probably use additional WC's. Beats letting go in the sand next to the highway.

      Delete
  21. If you want to make the most of life it's important to enjoy any unexpected pleasures it might present you with. So let's just take a moment to savour the spectacle of corrupt transnational bureaucrats being totally and utterly humiliated. Maybe they will get away with it in the end, but right now they're getting the treatment they deserve and that's a good thing even if it doesn't last.

    As for the Qatar world cup, we have to question whether it will even be possible. Right now we have suicide bombings in Saudi Arabia and a whole series of wars in the Middle East that are relentlessly escalating. It's highly doubtful that the situation will have changed for the better by 2022 and likely that it will be much worse. Would the Qataris really be able to provide effective security for an influx of hundreds of thousands of fans who would be such a tempting target for every terrorist group in the region? Will the country still be sufficiently stable to even attempt to host an event like that? I wouldn't bet on it.

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  22. I heard this story while driving in to work this morning. I side with those who say, "Who cares a rat's patoootie?"

    I like soccer, and played it as an informal pickup game in a vacant lot when I was young (and I am US born and bred). But I can't say I have ever really cared that much for professional sports of any kind--and this Fifi-foo-fum or whatever it is "scandal" strikes me as a distraction.

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  23. I'm still with you Lewis. Soccer is a feral game in Australia, spreading like cane toads, rabbits and prickly pear, and stealing market share from AFL, the greatest spectator sport ever.

    How soccer, a boring, frustrating poofter game has managed to do this is testament to the depth to which safety Nazism has penetrated this nation. The only exiting thing about soccer is the regular crowd rioting.

    I despise everything about the game, and the only good thing about it is that when soccer players wake up and get involved in AFL, their soccer training makes them naturally run hard at the ball and not wait for the bounce.

    Cheers,

    Pete of Freo

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    Replies
    1. I love Aussie football. I used to watch it when I lived in Indonesia. I wish some sharp smart entrepreneur with lots of bucks (Rupert Murdoch, are you listening?) would try bringing the game to the US. I think Americans would go for it.

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    2. I watched some videos of Australian football. On the one hand, I admire the vigor and athleticism that goes into the game; on the other, I wonder how many people get their necks broken while playing it?

      Delete
    3. If you can, have a look at Fremantle v Adelaide from 30.05.2015. A true gladiatorial spectacle under clearish Adelaide skies; a pulsating, full-bore clash between two evenly matched sides, with lead changes, momentum swings, courage, wonderful athleticism, physical clashes, individual brilliance, self-sacrificing team play, and outrageous skills on a wet night. You'll never want to watch soccer again!

      Injuries are obviously inadvertent, but, in most cases, the game is played within the spirit of the rules, now and again it gets a little venomous, but this is a tough, hard man's game which has not bred generations of football hooligans and rioting halfwits,

      Cheers,

      Pete of Freo (Go you Dockers!!)

      Delete
  24. If Sport is like warfare then:

    Soccer is a beautifully choreographed cavalry engagement featuring illustrious Regiments, punctuated by one-on-one lancer thrusts and parries;

    Rugby is trench warfare characterized by periodic out of the trench sorties that capture and then lose terrain for no apparent gain and recalcitrant’s shot for insubordination;

    American “Football” is the in-theatre arrival of the Rear-echelon Motherfuckers to view episodic, for demonstration, hit-and-run firefights, featuring a plentitude of draftees of all shapes and sizes, mostly from Detroit and Watts, captured by the camera, viewed by all (hopefully before the end of the day), with time-outs for beer and burgers in the canteen and lunch served by the women’s auxiliary clad in knee-boots and thongs;

    Basketball is repetitive fitness drills of Tall, semi-literate draftees, also from Detroit and Watts, organized by short, stocky and profane, semi-literate drill-sergeants;

    Baseball is peacetime between wars where we go to work for a minimum 9 hours a day (except on rainy days) and sometimes having to do overtime, 50 weeks a year, doing the same useless mundane things with the factory managers making out like bandits;

    Hockey is over-sized Tiddlywinks, played by armed men wearing strange uniforms.
    Hockey is night ambushes conducted by strangely clad rednecks missing most of their teeth, from disparate places no one has heard of, speaking languages only bar-patrons and lumberjacks understand; and

    The Olympics is peacetime Diplomacy with one for the Eastern Front and the other for the Pacific©

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  25. Maybe real Americans have little interest about soccer, but millions of illegal immigrants in America care a lot about Fotball.

    I see this as a Hispanic pander and secondarily as a dig at Puty-Poot and maybe Qatar and their lobbyists, the Clintons.

    ReplyDelete
  26. It's not about FIFA, it's about Putin and his oligarchs who use their ownership of FIFA teams to evade banking disclosures.

    ReplyDelete